Mother’s Heart does crisis pregnancy care well. However, we don't do medical care, mental health counselling, drug prescriptions, job search, vocational training … the list goes on. These are things for which we dependent on the work of our deeply respected partners.
Srey Touk, three months pregnant, suffering from extreme morning sickness and a UTI, was referred to Mother’s Heart by the government maternity hospital. Mother’s Heart has become well known to hospital staff as we use them for all our client’s antenatal, delivery and post-natal care.
Srey Touk had been in hospital ten days yet was without any of the essential care (meals, bathing, purchasing medicines) that, in Cambodia, is the role of the family to provide. Srey Touk was surrounded by broken relationships. Lying, desperately demanding attention, experiencing emotional and mental health issues, claiming a black being was there to torment her, her family had had enough and although her older brother had dropped her off, none of her family had been seen since.
Srey Touk had lived together with her boyfriend who she met while working in a factory. When she was three months pregnant, she left him, calling him abusive and saying she no longer loved him.
Because none of her family wanted to help her, Mother’s Heart partnered with a shelter where Srey Touk might stay during her pregnancy. However, when she became suicidal Mother’s Heart called on two more partners; a shelter that had a mental health counselling program and a facility that was able to assist Srey Touk with medication for her mental health issues. Srey Touk’s emotions were all over the place. She said she saw ghosts. Sometimes she would yell and swear at staff, other times she was very cooperative. At the shelter Srey Touk was able to stabilize, she stopped seeing things, and even worked at sewing for the three months preceding delivery.
Following three months maternity leave, Srey Touk began work for an organization that had a day care attached where she could remain close to her baby while she learned how to make paper flowers and greeting cards. It was here that she connected with a man from another province who wanted to marry her. Unfazed by the presence of a baby, this man took her to visit his family where his mother really liked her and invited her to join their family. So Srey Touk married and moved to his province.
Now Srey Touk works with the family selling sugar cane juice with her baby girl nearby. Her new family are even helping the couple to buy a house. Five partners together with Mother’s Heart were part of this happy outcome!
Thary – Social Worker
“I heard about MH from Somphors, a social worker at MH, as we attend the same church. I wanted to work for MH, because my mom was a single mother raising me. I interviewed and got the job – starting two mornings a week as I was still in the fourth year of my psychology degree. I became full time staff after graduation.
“Working at MH has given me a greater appreciation of what my mother went through as a single mom. Knowing I’m helping women like her is what pushes me to keep going everyday. I want my clients to be strong and independent – I want them to know they can be good moms even if they don’t have husbands.
“As to my own future, I don’t know what it holds. MH is a good fit for me. I like MH and the work I do here and trust God wherever he wants me to go.”
When we write a story, we write it as if it has a beginning and end, when that isn’t really the case. Triumphs along the way are often followed by losses. The journey of healing, like the journey of faith, is frequently one of progress and setbacks. Sometimes we don’t see our hope satisfied. The miracle is that God remains faithful.
Vong had worked in a red light area selling ice and alcohol by day and sex by night. She had already had one baby who she gave away. Vong’s hard life had turned her to heavy alcohol consumption. She couldn’t cope without it. Four months pregnant and still drinking, the midwife and Mother’s Heart social worker had warned her that the alcohol would have negative effects on her baby. Vong cut down on the amount she drank but couldn’t give it up altogether.
Vong wanted to change her life and find stability as she entered motherhood. Mother’s Heart staff helped her into a local shelter where she could stay for the remainder of her pregnancy. However, Vong couldn’t stick to the rules. She would keep sneaking out to buy something to drink. Eventually, she had to leave.
After that, it was hard to find a shelter willing to take her. Vong became abusively rude if she went too long without a drink. Yet finally, Mother’s Heart found a shelter that was willing to allow her to have the few daily drinks that she just couldn’t do without.
From the first ultrasounds it was clear the baby was too small. Vong delivered at 9 months and her baby boy struggled from the beginning. Testing revealed that his lungs had developed properly but not his brain. Without a ventilator his oxygen levels dropped too low. Staff had prepared her for this outcome knowing that the level of her alcohol consumption would affect her baby, they just didn’t know the extent of it until delivery. After 28 days in hospital he didn’t improve. Vong had to make the hard choice to turn the ventilator off. Not long later her son died.
Even while mourning her son, Vong was determined to make a future for herself. She said, “I’m moving forward. I’m not going back. I’m going to make you all proud.” Vong had begun to take better care of herself and had moved into Mother’s Heart women’s group home. She went to two vocational training interviews, one for sewing, the other baking and was offered a place at both. She chose to learn baking. Everyday she would ride her bike to training and would smile as she told us that she had friends and people to laugh with. After three months of training she was able to graduate and was invited to become a staff member there. We all had high hopes for her and she had them for herself as well. She still drank in the evenings and on the weekends but usually went to work sober.
It was a surprise to us when she decided to leave MH group home and leave her job without warning to return to her old life. We don’t know exactly why she did it or where she is now. Some might call her story a failure, but we don’t. At the end of the day we can say two things 1) We loved her well (and she knew it) 2) She had choices. We also know her story hasn’t ended yet. Perhaps we wont be able to see the full fruits of the seeds of changes planted in her heart, but we hope that one day she will be able to see them.
Kimleang Ly (Assistant Bookkeeper)
Leang began her time at Mother's Heart as a three month intern completing her university
degree in accounting. During her internship, MH's finance manager realized how much he needed her help so she was hired on as a staff member. Leang's responsibilities include keeping financial records, purchasing items for baby baskets, and organizing items in storage. She is our organization's singer and enjoys leading worship. "I want to be a part of helping the women at Mother's Heart by keeping good financial records. I want to see Mother's Heart grow and help even more women in Cambodia. My goal is to continue to serve Mother's Heart and to gain more experience in finance to improve my work."
Sometimes at Mother’s Heart we get to see our clients long after they are off the books. Soklone called in recently, bearing a basket of fruit for the staff and baby powder as a donation for other clients. What a different woman she has become, confidently in control of her life, assured as a mother and caregiver of her own mum and younger brother.
More than four years ago, Soklone became pregnant after going to a party with some friends. She’s not sure what happened, either drunk or drugged, but after the party she was pregnant. Her mother was very angry with Soklone. The two of them tried to press charges against the boy who hosted the party, suspecting rape, but dropped the charges when they received threats from the boy’s family. At the same time Soklones’ older brother died. Her mum blamed his death on Soklone, scolding her for being single and pregnant, and bringing bad luck to their family.
The two of them were referred to Mother’s Heart from another organization. Staff helped them find a room close to Mother’s Heart office and helped with food, rent, and medical costs. Soklone delivered two healthy twin girls.
When Soklone began cooking and cleaning training, she was very needy and demanding. She would say, “You have to help me. Can’t you see how hard my life is?!” Stressed at being a single mom, scolded by her family, haunted by suicidal thoughts, she took all her anger, hurt, and frustration out on Mother’s Heart staff – the only people who would listen.
Her social worker patiently listened to all her concerns and problems and kept encouraging her. She taught her how to be a good mum. It took a long time for Soklone to understand that she needed to start taking responsibility for the care of her babies and could not rely on Mother’s Heart for everything.
When Soklone visited, she apologized for her behavior while in our program. She certainly can see now how much Mother’s Heart has helped her. “If it wasn’t for Mother’s Heart I wouldn’t be able to stand today”. Soklone went from solely relying on Mother’s Heart, to taking on the full responsibility of caring for her twins, mother, and younger brother.
Her family is still hard to live with. Despite her support they still call her bad. ‘One day’, they told her, ‘she would end up in hell’. Her tart response was that living with her family was already hell. This is when she calls her social worker for help. She asked, “Am I really a bad person.” Her social worker responded, “Look at how far you have come. You are stronger and are such a good mom. You’re working a good job, your babies are doing so well, and you provide for your entire family. ”
Soklone has been referred to an organization that offers free counseling should she need more support. She also knows she is welcome to visit Mother’s Heart anytime.
Chealy (Senior Social Worker)
Chealy is our champion when it comes to working in the villages and with government officials. She's also our go-to person in the midst of crisis. This is what she says about her work at Mother's Heart:
"I came to work at here because I saw that many women had unplanned pregnancies and were seeking unsafe abortions - so I put my heart into this job. I want to improve Cambodian society and prevent abortions that are illegal. My work gives me much joy. My hope is that women I work with will learn to love their babies. That they would know they can stand up on their own as single moms and view their children as diamonds in their future. Recently, I've been especially saddened by the number of young girls in Mother's Heart who are pregnant because of rape. One girl especially is 14 years old and wants to keep her baby, but her mother is pressuring her to have an abortion. I want to thank you so much for supporting women like this young girl. I am overwhelmed with gratitude by your support and can't say anything besides thank you and God bless."
