You'll Only Bring Us Misfortune
“This girl, see she’s a bad girl”. Even the people who love us can sometimes say destructive things. Chantee’s mother was trying to convince the other people in the hospital of Chantee’s character even as she’d taken time to attend the delivery and care for her daughter during her recovery in hospital. Never mind that the poor girl had just undergone a C-section to deliver her transverse baby.
Life for Chantee had been daily insults since her mother found out she was pregnant. Her mother loved her but couldn’t over look Chantee’s misconduct. Chantee had become pregnant after a one-night stand with a young man she had met while working in a roadside shop. He had little idea of his responsibility. According to Cambodian culture, if one family member does something bad, they will bring more misfortune on the rest of the family. Because of this, Chantee’s mom blamed her for anything bad that happened in the family. She was furious. Being pregnant outside of marriage would bring misfortune on her and the rest of the family. Her relentless harsh words drove Chantee to move in with her aunt until the birth of her baby was imminent.
Mother’s Heart helped with her delivery, post-natal care, vaccinations and later formula while Chantee worked. A partner organization trained her to be a cleaner and she worked at that job for about a year while her baby was at Mother’s Heart daycare.
Mother’s Heart also helped Chantee mend her relationship with her mum, encouraging forgiveness. And Chantee worked hard to repair things with her mother. Their relationship improved enough that Chantee moved back home where her mum cared for her baby while Chantee worked in a well paid sales job.
The relationship with her mom was not the only restored relationship. Chantee has married her baby’s dad. After delivery he began to help Chantee out with some bills, showing an interest in the baby and making a life together. It took Chantee a long time to trust he was serious because he hadn’t proven so in the past. Her baby was over two years old when she decided ‘yes’ to marry him. Mother’s Heart was invited to join in their celebration and witness their mended relationship.
Chantee’s mother hasn’t completely forgiven her for getting pregnant, but Chantee chooses to show her love and to be a dutiful Cambodian daughter by helping her mom financially. Chantee continues to have a good relationship with her husband, secure well-paid work and their daughter is in preschool.